Arnold Announces: I’m Pro-Primate
Candidate Cites Cost Savings, Economic Development for CA

SACRAMENTO, CA: Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his bid for the governorship of California, is “going ape.”

	Some say Arnold’s primate programming move is pure political genius and a way to revitalize depressed Silicon Valley. Others say Arnold relates to primates as no other candidate can.

“I am a strong supporter of primate programming in the State of California”, said Schwarzenegger during a press conference here yesterday. “This is a way for the state to control costs, increase the quality of overall IT operations, and demonstrate to the voters of California that we absolutely mean business in Sacramento.”

The comment caused quite a stir as reporters immediately strained and scrambled to understand the statement. Schwarzenegger deftly fielded detailed questions from reporters on primate programming.

“Primate programming is a sure way to reduce costs. If elected, and I would lobby the legislature to attract the industry leader, Primate Programming Inc, to relocate to our great state. This would allow us to leverage immediate IT cost savings. At the same time, the California economy will benefit immediately and directly from the huge growth of this new high-tech industry cluster.”

If PPI comes to California, the state will benefit directly from the meteoric growth of the worldwide primate programming industry. Corporations globally are using PP to reduce IT costs and improve quality.

The candidate is close friends with Mark Bajek, the CEO of Primate Programming Inc (PPI), based in Des Moines, IA. That company provides IT services using primates trained in IT tasks. The attraction? Cost savings that can exceed 90%. These compelling cost savings are the driving force behind the new “PP” industry. Bajek’s PPI has received 10 million in venture funding from five California VC firms. Schwarzenegger and Bajek were introduced through mutual friends in the California VC industry. The men socialize, most recently vacationing with their families on a fly-fishing trip in Montana.

There was a buzz as reporters from the New York Times, Sacramento Bee, and Wall Street Journal fumbled clumsily with their cell phones as they called in to their respective publications and conveyed the news. At 11:34AM, when the Schwarzenegger quotes hit the wire, the PPI web site was deluged with an overwhelming volume of web traffic. The site was disabled for twnty-one minutes as people worldwide scrambled to learn more about the Primate Programming Inc and the company’s CEO, Mark Bajek.

© New Technology Solutions Inc
Primate Programming pioneer and CEO Bajek is close friends with Schwarzenegger. The two met through mutual friends in California’s venture capital community.

This publication contacted PPI for a quote from Bajek. PPI issued this statement “PPI is pleased that the future governor-elect, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger, has drawn attention to our firm. The California climate, both geographic and political, looks very attractive to us. While we have no present plans to move to the great state of California, we may consider such a move in the future.”

The statements were interpreted by many in the press as a signal that if Schwarzenegger is elected, PPI would consider an immediate move into California from Iowa.